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New Jersey’s hockey players have the Devil. The local baseball team we cheer for has Mr. Met. The Jets have… well, I don’t really know what the hell the Jets have... The mighty Falcons of Bowling Green State University have Freddie & Frieda. Glen Rock High School once had a boy named Nick who dressed in what can best be described as a bear costume. Forests have Smokey. And the Casa de Roo renovation has Mook.

Mook cheered us on today when Matt decided that what he wanted to do to celebrate his birthday weekend was to clean. And clean. And clean. And clean. And clean. We hope this effort will inspire the sub-contractors remove the messes they create when they work on the house. (Steve Wasko’s crew tends to leave things pretty orderly… The other guys—when they do show up—not so much.)

Renovation tip: When buying a Shop Vac, get the one with the most powerful motor you can find. Be warned, however, if you select one with a HEPA filter because you’ll spend as much time clearing out the cartridge as you do cleaning up the room.

Mook is now watching over the house as 30-mile-an-hour gusts of wind propel rain against the thin plastic film the sub-contractors put up to “protect” us from the elements.

Epilogue: October 26

Hey, did ya notice the water coming in?

Why yes, Mook, I did.

Heck, the ceiling is still going drip-drip-drip into a green plastic salad bowl.

Yup. So much for the membrane protecting us before the long-overdue roof is installed. The water also came in around the side windows where the siding has been removed but not replaced. It dripped from the ceiling, ran down the walls, traveled from the upper to lower level of the house and even came in at the corner of our master bedroom.

Well at least breakfast smelled good.

Yeah, we made eggs and garlic hash browns from the baby potatoes we purchased from the hippies at the green energy festival.

Green energy… is that why it is so freakin’ cold in here—you turned off the heat to be “green?”

No. The oil boiler went out. Again. We noticed it at 5 a.m.

Captain Stupid strikes again?

Yes, Captain Stupid strikes again. The heating system is made up of Walterific spare parts… We’ve been working on this problem for eight years and now Matt gets to spend his birthday waiting for the furnace fix-it guy. Again.

Then why were you laughing?

We had Saturday Night Live on the DVR.

I’d have liked to watch SNL.

We’re trying to keep Mooks and Perps out of the master bedroom for the time being. No disrespek. Fuggettaboutit.