Once upon a time…

…Now, in fact… There lived a Fair Prince and his little wife. They toiled valiantly in business. The Money Changers surreptitiously checked their credit and saw that it was good. They relentlessly tempted the couple with bags and barrels and cart-loads of coins.

In hamlets near and far, hillsides were denuded and cottages destroyed, replaced by McMansions and faux châteaus. The wifette looked up at her Prince and said, “I’d like to transform my dwelling now.” He secured a HELOC that was just the right size to meet their desires without putting them too deeply into hock.

Armed with this badge of credit—and with visions of $6.5 million dollar castles dancing in her head—she scurried off to find a draftsman, discussing the dream house project with candidates including an up-and-coming Starchitect, a Provincial Poser and Ivy League Man. Charmed by his tall tales and higher education, the lady of the house soon began trading checks for Snake Oil, a process that took more than a year and yielded no cure for their leaky roof.

The couple brought in builders who quaked at the sight of the site and cited great sums to erect the vision as drawn. As the seasons marched on, the deck became ever more flaccid.

Meanwhile, the usury that had enticed the lusty masses to live beyond their means resulted in a market correction. Bears began mauling the Money Changers, who panicked and began reneging on their promises of financing. On February 1, they lopped off a third of the dollars the Prince thought he had secured for Casa de Roo.

In the light of the crescent moon and through dawn’s early rays, the couple pondered what to do. Ponder, ponder, ponder… The consort’s reaction swung from heavy sighs of resolve to random manic cackling. Ponder, ponder, ponder…

The Fates, it seems, have spun a destiny for the couple that doesn’t involve an addition.